Constellations
by new.writer.girl
Summary: It's been almost six years since she left everything behind... left him behind. Now Hermione is back in magical London with a daughter. Her secret is revealed with some serious consequences. Hermione/Sirius...  & new characters with a whole lot of drama!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter… unfortunately!

Okay so here it is… Chapter 1. This is my first published fanfiction so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Reviews are welcome. For every review comes a new chapter.

**Constellations**

**Chapter 1**

I look into her crib and I don't know what to do. She's been crying for three hours straight. My head is pounding. It doesn't matter how much I hold her. It is never enough. I am never enough. Is that what she is trying to tell me? I pick her up once more and try yet again to calm her, this time making shapes in the air with my wand - the colourful swirls and sparks keep her placated long enough for her screams to stop. Her little chest is heaving as she tries to take in enough air. Rubbing her back softly I once again try to feed her. And all at once her fussing stops entirely, all of her attention now focused on her food. She is just one month old and already she runs my life.

I knew that this would be difficult, but doing it alone has just about killed me. I keep telling myself that I did the right thing. That leaving him was for the best. He wasn't the man that I thought he was. He didn't really want me and he sure as hell wouldn't have wanted a family with me. Did he ever even like me? At one point I thought that he loved me. I was so wrong.

Now I look down at our child and I wonder if he would want to know her. To hold her and sing to her. Would he want that? Do I want him to want that? No... all I want is to be alone. To be rid of him and his lies. He'll never want that because he'll never know. I decided seven months ago that this would be my secret... my burden to carry. No one will ever know, especially not him.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

"Mama! Look at the orange one!" She is bopping up and down in front of me as she peers into the last cage in the store. A little ball of ginger fluff huddles in the centre of the enclosure. The tiny creature reminds me so much of Crookshanks that I have to stifle a laugh. "He's the one I want."

"Lyra, are you sure. He looks a little... grumpy. Why not that one over there with the white spot." I say pointing to another kitten in a basket on the far side of the store."

"No he's the one mama. I can just tell."

"Alright then if you insist." She has always been one to know what she wants... my daughter. I haven't been back in London since before she was born, and certainly not in Diagon Alley, where we are today. Why now you may be thinking? Why choose now after all of these years to return? I guess I thought it was time. Time to return to the life I knew before I was a mother. I'm not yet ready to face people... to face my past. I know there will be questions and I cannot answer them right now. I don't know what I would say. Her tugging hand pulls me back to reality.

"Hmm?"

"I _said_ can I carry his basket?"

"Do you think you can manage?" I ask as she struggles to keep a hold of the wicker frame in front of her. Pushing through the crowd, she nods her head determinedly. I know that if I attempt to remove the creature from her hold now there will be hell to pay.

Keeping my hand on her back I lead her towards Flourish and Botts when all of a sudden a hand pulls me around in the middle of the street. I haven't seen those green eyes for almost six years.

"Harry." It comes out like a whisper.

"I knew it was you! I saw you coming out of that store and I just knew." Throwing his arms around me he pulls me into a tight embrace. Before he can let go we're both pushed to the side by another set of arms.

"Mione! Where the hell have you been?" Ron's hold is fiercer than Harry's and pulling back to stare at the two of them I realise how much pain I've caused them. Throwing myself back into their arms I hear myself apologising over and over again.

"We thought at first that you were... that something had happened to you. For months the Order... and then the first letter. Six years Hermione and only a handful of letters to tell us you were safe." Harry is struggling for words. Ron however, seems to be taking in my appearance. I must admit that to my best friends it would appear that I have changed dramatically. I'm no longer the thin woman that I once was. With Lyra came around an extra twenty pounds which never seemed to leave. To the two boys who knew me at 11, my wider hips, fuller chest and all around older look, must look incredibly bizarre.

"I'm surprised you recognised me to be honest."

"Of course we would recognise you. How could we not. But now that you mention it you have changed." Harry says, finally taking a minute to look at me.

"She sure bloody has. You look so much... you look like... you look good."

"Never one for the tact, were you Ron!" I say with a laugh. But talk of my appearance reminds me of Lyra and all of a sudden I'm whipping around trying to find her in the sea of people in front of me. I don't have to look far. She is about a metre away from me, bent over and peering into the carry basket, now sitting on the street in front of her.

"Lyra!" I'm next to her in a flash, pulling her flush against me. She seems not to have noticed that I stopped at all. Her attention is still wholly focused on her new acquisition as she twists her body around to squirm out of my grasp and back to the basket.

"Mama let go so I can get the basket."

"_Mama_?" Two voices behind me echo. _Oh God this was not how this was supposed to happen. _"Hermione. You have a daughter?" At this comment, Lyra suddenly stops struggling and looks up at Harry for the first time since we stopped.

"You're Harry Potter." She says with an awe like look on her face. "Mama's best friend."

His face is one of shock. Neither man knows what to say. Both are looking at her and looking at me. I can see what they're seeing. At five years old she looks exactly like her father, with small exceptions of course. Her rosy cheeks and rosebud lips are mine, as is her unruly hair. But its colour - black - is all her father, as well as her dark grey eyes. It is not just her appearance however. It is her entire being. The way she holds herself... she has that aristocratic air about her. Others see it too. Harry and Ron see it now. "Harry, Ron, this is my daughter... Lyra."

She puts out her hand as she has been taught. Harry gets a hold of himself first, bending down to Lyra's level. "Well it's lovely to meet you little Lyra." She giggles as he shakes her hand and gives a little curtsy. Ron is still looking shell shocked as Harry attempts a conversation. "I see you've got a new pet." Looking up at me he remarks "Looks a hell of a lot like Crookshanks. Does he have a name yet?"

Lyra nods her head with a gleeful expression on her face. "Orion. Do you like it? I do. He is the perfect replacement for Hercules."

"Hercules? Orion hmm? You like the constellations huh?"

"That's where my name comes from. My daddy is a constellation too." It's out of her mouth before I can do a thing. Harry looks like he has been punched in the gut. Lyra simply bends down to pick up Orion. Ron is staring at me with something akin to disgust, before he turns away and stomps down the street.

"RON... Wait!" But there is no calling him back now. He knows the truth. This is what I was afraid of... everybody's reaction... _his _reaction.

"Does he know?" For a second I don't even realise that Harry has spoken until I see him staring at me, emotionless.

"Please don't judge me Harry. You don't know how-"

"Does he know Hermione? Just answer the damn question!" Lyra jumps at his raised voice.

Pulling her up into my arms and vanishing the basket I'm suddenly furious at him for frightening her. "No he doesn't, and I do not have to explain myself to you Harry."

"Yes you bloody well do! You disappear for six years, to have a child it would seem... only to keep this secret from the one man who ever loved you! What the hell were you thinking? You could have told us. You should have told him! She's his daughter!"

My blood is boiling over. Tears are streaming down my face and people are starting to stare - Harry Potter yelling at a young woman and child in the middle of Diagon Alley is not a sight that occurs everyday. _How dare he!_ "Don't you dare talk to me like that! I did what I had to do. You have no idea what happened between Sirius and myself. _Loved me huh_? He loved me so much that he bragged about what an easy lay I was to every male in the order? How I didn't quite par up to his previous conquests?"

Harry's face is one of shock. _He obviously didn't know that I knew._ "That's why you left? Because you thought he was-"

"No I left because I was not going to raise a baby with someone who hurt me like that. Who lied about how he felt. I was 22 years old Harry and I was scared alright! I was absolutely terrified that I was having a baby..."

Harry goes to take my arm. I can tell he is sorry. "Don't!"

"Hermione she is still his daughter. You have to tell him!"

"She is _my _daughter! I have nothing to say to him!"

As I turn around to apparate home I hear his last words. "Then why did you come back?"

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own Harry Potter.

**Chapter 2**

"Mama?" her voice is timid as she walks into my room. "Are you better now?" I put my arms out for her to jump into my lap. I'm sitting on the edge of my bed, my face tear stained from an hour of solid sobs. Holding her in my arms I wipe away the last of my tears.

"All better now, I promise." I say planting a kiss on her forehead. "I love you."

"Love you too." she says curling further into my hold. We sit like that for who knows how long. It is only then that I notice that she has attempted to change into her pyjamas. Her pyjama pants are on back to front and her top doesn't match. _Still my baby_ I think to myself.

"What's this then?" I question, pulling at her odd attire. She gives a little shrug. "How about we go get you fixed up in a pair that match at least?" Giving a little giggle she runs ahead of me into her room. Following her down to the end of the hall I enter her bedroom. She is already pulling a new pair of flannelette pjs from her chest of drawers. After she is changed I jump into bed beside her and we read yet another chapter of her beloved _Hogwarts a History_. "Is it really like that mama? With the forest and quidditch? Can we go mama? Can we go and see it?"

"You'll see it when you're 11 and that is soon enough for me."

"I can't wait to go to school." she says in between a big yawn. "I'm... gon take... 'Rion... righ...ma...ma?" Her eyes are shut before she can finish her sentence. I pull the book from her grasp and place it on her small bedside table before pulling up her bedspread. My heart breaks at the thought of her going to Hogwarts... to be without her for so long... my baby girl. Looking at her so soundly asleep I remember wishing for this peace so many years ago when she was a baby. My thoughts are interrupted by a sharp knock at the door. Although it's not that late for visitors, we hardly ever have any. I didn't really feel the need to make friends when I first moved away. I'm therefore always wary of anyone who appears at my home.

It's been five years, six months and twelve days since I've laid eyes on him. He still looks the same as the day I left him... gorgeous. He's standing in front of me in a pair of black jeans and a white button down shirt, top four buttons undone of course. He hasn't changed.

"Sirius" I breathe.

"Mi... is it true?" His voice is like ice. I'm afraid to say anything. Do I play dumb? Pretend that Lyra isn't sleeping in the next room? I don't say anything. Instead I open the door a little wider and stand to the side to let him in. There is no escaping this conversation now and I really don't want to have it out in the hall of my apartment building.

He steps inside and walks a few steps to the centre of the room. I can see him taking in the room, or more importantly Lyra's many things that litter our small living space. His eyes are focused on a pile of children's books and a stuffed dragon on the sofa. He moves over to one of the many moving photographs on the walls. It was taken just a few months ago on her fifth birthday. She's scrambling over my back and into my lap, laughing the entire time. He just stands in front saying nothing. I don't know what to do. I'm getting more and more nervous the longer he is still.

"She looks so much like me."

My throat has closed up. I manage to choke out an "I know."

"Did you know you were pregnant when you left?"

"Yes." I can hardly hear my answers.

"Why?" At this he turns around to face me. "How could you? You leave one morning and never come back. I thought that - you could have been dead. Then you write one damn letter to _Harry_ - not to me. TO HARRY! Telling him that your safe and need time away from everyone. What the hell did I ever do to make you hate me so much?"

"I didn't hate you. _I was in love with you!_ You betrayed me. I was hurt!" I yell at him.

"You were naive." he yells back at me.

"Do not try and take the high road with me Sirius."

"YOU TOOK MY CHILD FROM ME!"

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT YOU HAD A CHILD!"

"And I guess I still wouldn't know if Harry had not of said something. At first I didn't believe him - my own Godson. I didn't think you were capable... but as soon as I saw you, what you've become" he sneers, giving me a once over "I knew it was true - that you could have done it in a heartbeat."

"Harry should never have said anything. It wasn't his place."

"He cared Hermione! He cared enough to -" his voice halts automatically, as he stares over my shoulder. I turn around sharply when I hear her little voice behind me.

"Daddy?" She is in my arms before she can utter another syllable.

"Shh shh... back to sleep baby." My voice is shaking slightly as I carry her back to bed. Her eyes might be droopy now, but in the morning she'll realise that she wasn't dreaming. _Why did he have to do this?_ Silencing her room to be sure she isn't woken again, I head back into the lounge. But there is no one there. He's already gone.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

It would seem that seeing Lyra in person had an unwanted effect on Sirius. I knew that he would never be able to handle this... that is part of the reason why I kept her a secret all this time. As much as I want him to stay away, Lyra has seen him. "Was my daddy here last night?" The question is so direct I don't know how to react. _With the truth Hermione._

"Yes honey."

"Is he coming home now?" My breath catches in my throat. She is spooning cereal into her mouth, while still looking at me.

"He came to visit Lyra. You know that Daddy doesn't live with us."

"Will he visit with me next time? I want to show him Orion... and my Hogwarts book, and my hippogriff drawing. I think he would like that one."

"I don't know if he'll visit again, but I'm sure he'd like your drawing too."

"And Orion." she reminds me.

"And Orion." I repeat.

I know what I have to do now. She needs this. I can't keep him from her any longer. After breakfast I go directly to my bedroom intent on writing an owl to Sirius. But my hand just won't cooperate. It takes three hours before I get the correct wording.

_Sirius,_

_I wish that this was easier to write, but we both know that there will never be enough words to explain why I did what I did, or how I felt at the time. I would however still like to try. I want you to understand. Not for my sake. I do not seek your forgiveness. I need this for Lyra. Your unexpected appearance last night has had an effect on her. As I'm sure you noticed last night she knew exactly who you were. I have never kept you a secret from her. I was not ashamed of you or our relationship. Not like you were of me. Please understand that I have moved on from how you hurt me all those years ago. But know that you did hurt me, whether you were aware of it or not. I'm not even sure if you will remember the event that shaped my life, but for me it still rings like yesterday._

_I heard you Sirius. I heard what you said to half of the order - to Lupin, Harry, Kingsley, Bill, Charlie... I was scared to tell you I was pregnant. I didn't know what to say... how to say that I was going to have your child. That you were going to have to become a father. I didn't want you to think that I had planned it - that I was trying to change you. I came over that night like I did most nights, but you were in the lounge. I heard the laughing from the hall. And then I heard my name and a number of others. I don't even know if you will remember it but I do. I'll remember every word for the rest of my life. I truly loved you Sirius, as you were. I would have done anything for you. To you however, I was nothing more than... well you didn't feel the same way. _

_I don't know what else to write. All I know is that you are now a part of Lyra's life. She has seen you. You are more than just a photograph. So if you are willing, I would like to meet and talk. I would like you to meet Lyra again. _

_I'll be at The Leaky Cauldron tomorrow afternoon. _

_Hermione_

I seal the letter in an envelope and hold it out to the tawny barn owl that is currently perched on the windowsill. "This letter needs to find Sirius Black." The look she gives me is definitely one of confusion. She hasn't flown this journey in years. "Do you still remember?" She gives me a withering stare before launching herself into the sky. _Of course she would remember. _Now all I need to do is psych myself up into actually going. Seeing him last night was enough.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

Time for reviews people!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter.

As I promised, for every review I'll post a new chapter. Keep them coming. Let me know what you think of my new characters!

**Chapter 3**

"Thank you so much for doing this Martha. I shouldn't be too long... I-"

"Are you sure you want to do this Mi?" Having known Martha for years I'm used to her worries. We've been friends since I first moved to study at the Salem Academy - my escape from England. A transfer student, she came back to Britain around the same time that I did and now lives only a block away. She is a good person... my best friend I guess. She is the one person in my life who knows about my relationship with Sirius and my reasons for leaving him. "He really hurt you. Are you sure that putting yourself out there like this is good for you."

"I'm not doing this for him... or for me. I'm doing this for Lyra. She saw him Martha. He's not just another face in a photograph any more. He's real. She needs this... and it was wrong of me to keep her from having it for so long."

Pursing her lips a little she concedes. A second later Lyra herself is bounding into the room yelling in typical Lyra fashion. "Aunt Marty! Can we bake brownies again? Pleeeassee!"

I quirk my eyebrow. "Brownies?"

"Kid that was meant to be a secret. Now your mum will be wanting some!" Martha says giving me a wink.

Taking that as my cue to leave the two of them alone I grab my bag and kiss my daughter goodbye. "I'll be home later." I call heading out the door. Heading to the closest disapparating point I once again begin to doubt my outfit choice. I changed three times before I was happy with this one. In the end I just threw on a pair of jeans. Pulling on my navy blue jacket over my white tank, I tie my curls up in a pony tail (of course half of them spring free before the band is fixed). _No you look good!_ I tell myself. _Casual but still good. You're a mother now. Of course you're going to look different!_

Before I know it I'm at my destination and feeling the familiar squeezing sensation. When I open my eyes I'm at the back entrance to the leaky cauldron. Taking a deep breath I walk inside. He's not there. Scanning the room once more I take a look at my watch. It's three o'clock... afternoon. _Maybe he's not coming..._

At this thought the door swings open and there he is. And there I am standing like an idiot in the centre of the room. His eyes lock with mine and he begins to walk toward me. Neither of us speaks for a few seconds.

"We should sit" I finally say.

He doesn't appear to have taken in what I have said. Then before I know it he's gesturing over to the bar. "Tom. A private room." he calls out to the familiar man behind the counter. With a quick nod to one of the barmaids, we are lead into one of the many back rooms of the pub. As soon as we are alone Sirius silences the room. "I don't like people knowing my business." he says in answer to my questioning expression.

"Yeah I remember." I say with the slightest bit of an edge. He catches it though and his face contorts slightly.

"What you heard that day-" he begins.

"Don't! I can't! I don't want to think about it alright? And the last thing I want to do is talk about it." I say

He nods his head but I can see the anger in his eyes. "For today alright. But we will discuss it."

For a moment there is silence. I realise that I should bring up the topic that I came here to discuss - _our _daughter. He obviously reads my thoughts. "She knew who I was!" he states with a frown.

"Of course Sirius. I told you in the letter that I didn't keep you a secret from her... she's so perceptive, she probably would have figured it out sooner or later anyway." My voice is shaking. My hands are shaking. Being alone with him is bringing back all sorts of memories. I can't concentrate on his face for too long.

His voice drops with his next words. "She called me Daddy!" His face holds so much pain. My stomach is twisting with guilt. I can hardly stand to stay seated.

"I'm sorry." I all but whisper.

"You're sorry?" His tone is disbelieving. "You're _sorry?" _He practically yells. I'm out of my chair before his next breath. Tears are streaming down my face as I move swiftly for the door. He is faster than me though. His hand wraps around my arm as he pulls me around to face him. I'm openly sobbing now. "I don't know my own daughter Hermione... and you're _SORRY!_ You heartless bitch!"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY SIRIUS?" I scream at him. "I am a heartless bitch! Is that what you want to hear? That I hate myself? WELL NOW YOU KNOW!" His arms tighten around me and he shakes me a little. Then without warning he pushes me away from him. I stumble backwards and he makes his way back to his chair. "I can't forgive you for this." He says.

My chest clenches but I say what I've known since the moment I laid eyes on our daughter. "I know." I remain standing near the door, hiccuping slightly. I watch his shoulders slump.

"When can I see her?"

I want to say never. I don't want to have to see the pain I've caused him ever again. I want to run like last time. "Whenever you like - tomorrow?"

He stands quickly and is standing before me in a second. "Tomorrow then." He mutters. With that said he is out the door, leaving me alone. I slump to my knees and lean my head back against the wall as I let a sob overcome me. _I'm so sorry..._

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter.

I'm loving the reviews everyone. It's nice to know that someone is actually reading my story. In fact, since this one has been such a success so far I'm going to put another of my stories up…

**Chapter 4**

"Hey you know I could stay for a while. Hang out here for some moral support?" Martha says as she sips her tea.

"No I - I think that it would be better if it was just us." I say uncertainly. "But thanks anyway."

With a flick of her wand her cup is in the sink washing itself and flying towards the cupboard. "Well I'm always here."

I smile at her just as Lyra comes running in. "Mama mama! What about this one? Do you think he'll like this one?" Her little face is so cute when she's excited.

"Well that one has always been my favourite." I say indicating the fiftieth outfit she has tried on this morning. "Teeth?" I ask.

"Her little hand flies to her mouth. "I'll do them now." she says with a giggle. I smile as I watch her running down the hall in her dress. It's a sleeveless red gingham number that stops around her ankles . The perfect summer dress. Her black curls are springing down her back as she bounces towards her room. That's when I hear the knock at the door. My stomach falters for a second and I immediately shoot Martha a pleading glance.

"So I guess you'll be needing that moral support after all." she mutters quickly going to check on Lyra. I on the other hand make my way towards the door. It shouldn't have to be this hard. _Well you brought it upon yourself Granger!_ I mentally chastise myself.

However, it is Harry who is standing in my doorway. I stare blankly, not knowing what to say. It's Martha's voice that eventually breaks through from behind me. "I'll admit that I was expecting better looking Mi." His eyes snap up to see the woman behind me. He's looking very affronted. He never was one for being shut down... in any form. I quickly take control of the situation.

"Um- um no. This is Harry... not Sirius." Harry holds out his hand but she seems not to notice as she turns to step further back into the flat. "Harry what are you doing here? I wasn't expecti-"

"Sirius asked me to come down for some moral support." he says in answer to my questions. Martha snorts in the background at the absurdity of Sirius needing moral support. Harry does not miss it. "Nice friends you've got here 'Mione." he says loud enough for Martha to hear. Mind you she is not one to back down when her shackles are up.

"And just what is that supposed to mean Mr Potter? I suppose you think that you are in fact a better friend to Hermione than I could ever be?"

"Something like that yes." he replies acidly.

"Well you should know that-" But she is cut off by a hand clapping Harry on the shoulder. Sirius has arrived.

Looking up at Hermione he says his greetings. "Hope you don't mind that I invited Harry along... he said that he'd like to see Lyra again... and I thought..."

He's looking incredibly nervous and I suddenly realise that I'm looking at him slightly stunned... and we're all still standing in the doorway. "I'm sorry." I say shaking my head. "Come in. Come in."

"Sirius Black." He says in that suave voice of his while holding his hand out to Martha. She gives him the once over before taking his hand saying nothing.

"It seems that, Martha is it? is slightly awed by your unseemly good looks Sirius!" Harry makes the quip quickly. Heat rushes to my best friend's cheeks as she pulls her hand from Sirius'.

Sirius on the other hand ignores Harry's annoyance and continues with his charms. "You're not the first Darlin'!" he says with a wink.

It's the wink that does it. It takes me back all these years ago. The tone of his voice... the laughter... and the un-escapable fact that his lewd innuendoes were probably coupled with numerous winks. I am livid. It would appear that I'm not the only one. Martha looks like she'd about to explode. If there is one thing she hates it is arrogance. _I really should have warned her about this pair!_

"Well I can see now where your godson gets his undeserved arrogance." With a sardonic smile she turns her back on both men and heads towards me where I am standing in front of the door. "Hermione so sorry I can't stay but I've um- well I've got to pick up those um- yeah." she finishes off lamely.

"So much for moral support girl!" I mutter only loud enough for her to hear. I can see that she is battling with herself to stay. The decision is made for her in the next second.

"Aunt Marty! I swear it was an accident!" Lyra comes yelling into the sitting room, oblivious to the rest of us.

Martha is on her knees in front of my little girl in a flash. "What was hun?"

She is looking up at me now. "Mama I only wanted one brownie... really!"

I know what is coming as I look towards the kitchen. "Lyra." I say in a firm voice as she hangs her head. "We talked about this young lady. No meddling with the magic cookbooks!"

At Sirius' loud laugh from behind her she snaps her head up to look back him. In that split second her anxiousness about getting in trouble is all but gone. She looks back up towards me and I see that she is blushing profusely, obviously embarrassed by her mischief. _She doesn't know her father at all! Sirius is probably rejoicing!_

Sirius bends down on one knee so that he is at her eye level. "Hey there." he says in the most nervous voice I've ever heard him use. I push her gently towards him, giving her a little encouragement.

Our daughter however, needed no such reassurance. In an instant she has thrown herself into his arms, winding her own as far as she can around his back. "I missed you." she says pulling back a little. "Why didn't you come and visit me before?" I have to turn myself away from the image in front of me. The two pained faces of the two people that I've loved most in my life. My breathing picks up and I struggle to gain control of myself. I feel Martha's hand on my back coaxing me back into clarity. I can hear Sirius' voice behind me.

"You're right. I should have come sooner. I'm sorry for that... but I'm here now and I promise not to go anywhere from now on." I can hear the nerves in his voice dissipate, and sure enough when I turn around he is smiling tenderly at our child.

There is an awkward silence as he looks up at me. I realise a few seconds too late that everyone in the room is looking at me. Gaining control of my voice I manage to speak. "Tea Harry?" There is a slight pause before I extend the invitation to Sirius as well, before walking towards the kitchen.

Looking back at Sirius Harry nods in the affirmative.

"Well It looks like that's my cue to leave. A cup of tea with Harry Potter just doesn't cut it for me Mi." Martha says with a smirk. Harry however, is slightly shocked. I for one know that he is not used to _not _being the centre of every witch's attention.

"Yes goodbye. I'd say it was a pleasure but let's be honest. It wasn't." Harry states rather forcefully.

With a roll of her eyes and a quick goodbye to Lyra she's gone... which leaves me alone with two men that had both yelled at me in the last two days. Leaving Sirius with Lyra in the living room - she was having a wonderful time showing him her collection of Chocolate Frog Cards, all 300 of them - I make my way to the kitchen to tidy up the chocolatey mess that has come out of one of my cookbooks. Once that is cleared up I begin pulling tea cups from the kitchen cupboards. Before I can levitate the tea canister towards me though I felt Harry's hand on my arm.

"Hermione I just wanted to say... I wanted to... I wanted to say that I shouldn't have yelled at you like I did the other day. I was just so shocked and I -"

"- There's no need Harry. You were right." I sighed. "I should have told him. What more can I say?" My voice catches on the end of my sentence.

"You're still my best friend Mi. You always will be." He says pulling me into a hug. I squeeze him just as tightly back. I hate fighting with Harry. We've never argued like we did the other day and until a few seconds ago I had thought that something had drastically changed in our relationship.

"Thank you." I whisper, pulling free from the hug with a smile.

He grins right back. "Any chance of some chocolate biscuits?" All of a sudden we're laughing again like we're at Hogwarts. _Now all I have to do is find a way to get through the next few hours with Sirius._ I think to myself.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **Unfortunately I still don't own Harry Potter…

Thank you so much for the reviews everyone! I'm not sure if you guys want individual replies. If so just put it in the review. Hope you're all loving my new story too. Enjoy this chapter! It's the last one I'm posting tonight... desperately in need of some sleep. I'm leaving you on a bit of a cliffhanger... so I apologise in advance.

**Chapter 5**

I can feel _his_ presence through the walls. _Why did I agree to this? What the hell was I thinking putting myself through this?_ I was once again brought back to reality thanks to Harry.

"So what's with your shrew of a friend?" He says with an incredibly obvious tone of dislike.

I play dumb. "What do you mean?"

"Oh come on... what was with the bitchy behaviour towards me? What exactly did you tell her about me."

Turning from the bench to look at him I answer him honestly. "Absolutely nothing."

He looks slightly stunned and then confused. "What do you mean nothing? How can she not know about the two of us being friends if you two are friends?"

_Great now I'm gonna have to explain._ "Look Harry... when I left I didn't want to take anything with me from London. The Salem Academy was the ideal place to start myself over again and leave my mistakes behind." I can't look at him as I say the next sentence. "So I didn't tell anyone about my role in the war or who I had been while I was here. It wasn't until a few years had passed and I knew that I could trust Martha that I actually told her about Sirius and how I'd ended up in my situation."

"Did you mention me _at all_?"

"In passing yes... but I didn't go into any detail because I didn't want to be identified. Martha however, deduced on her own who I was and was just waiting for me to come clean about everything. She has been a really good friend to me Harry."

"And the attitude doesn't bother you?" He asks disbelievingly.

Taking a deep breath I look hesitatingly at him. "I'm afraid that might have been reserved just for you."

"Wait- What?"

"Well she knew exactly who you were and she doesn't really... I mean she isn't really into celebrities."

"Yeah because I _love _it!" Harry says sarcastically.

I smirk. "Oh come on Harry. We got the tabloids in the US too you know... and I'm pretty sure that you don't mind all of those pretty young witches throwing themselves all over you!"

He smirks back before breaking into laughter. "Yeah I guess. What do I care what some American witch thinks of me anyway!" He's playing it down but I can tell it's bothering him as we walk back to the living room. _Please don't let me have to deal with a Harry/Martha drama!_

I try to stable myself as much as possible before sitting on the sofa. Lyra is currently perched on Sirius' lap giving him a thorough rundown of her daily routine. "... and then I eat lunch. Sometimes mummy packs me brownies- but not magic ones" she says with a giggle "I love brownies. Do you like brownies? I want one now. Do you want a brownie Daddy? Can you make me one? Use your wand like mummy does! Daddy?"

Sirius is simply staring at her. How could he not... she's beautiful. She looks just like him. All of a sudden she's looking at me. I nod my head in answer to her silent question. With a quick flick of my wand a plate of brownies is flying from the kitchen. Her little face is delighted. Sirius however looks confused.

"I could have conjured some you know." He says.

I smile at him. "I know but I made these earlier." Dropping my voice slightly I add "I just had them hidden from her, that's all." Another smile. _No no no... too familiar!_

"Do you want one Daddy? They're really good. Mama is the best at making them. Aunt Marty makes them good too but not like Mama. They go gooey in the middle." With this said she takes a large bite from the chocolate sweet in her little hands.

"Not so much at once Lyra." I chastise before taking a sip of my tea. I need to continue to do something with my hands or they'll start shaking again.

Thankfully Harry comes to the rescue. "So Lyra when are you going to come and watch me play Quidditch?"

Her little eyebrows shoot up in response to his offer. I absolutely hate the idea of my little baby on a broom and I've never let her near a Quidditch pitch. She looks directly at me. "Mama Pleeaasseee let me go! Please!" _How do I say no without sounding liking a bitch._

"We'll see." I shoot Harry a look that let's him know that next time he should quit his teasing in front of Lyra. Sirius however remains oblivious to my feelings on the subject.

"Sure you can Honey. We'll go to his next game." he says pulling her back up onto his lap.

"I'm gonna go get more tea." My voice is strained and my tea cup is half full but I can't stand to be in the room much longer. Back in the kitchen I brace myself against the counter. _Calm down Hermione. You're doing really well. He's not staying. You're in charge. She is still your baby! _But as much as I try to reassure myself I can still feel my heart pounding. The next thing I know Sirius is beside me.

"Are you alright?" He says leaning back against the counter top. He's staring straight ahead back towards the living room.

"I- you can't- she- she's my daughter Sirius!" I manage to get out. I can see him take a deep breath but I continue. "She has been my daughter for the past five years and you can't just come into her life and start turning things upside down."

"She would have been my daughter too if you hadn't hidden her from me!" He's trying not to yell but his voice is still loud.

"And I'm sorry for that. I am and I've said it but how can I say it anymore Sirius than I already have?" My hand is on my forehead and I'm braced for tears. "I do want you to be a part of Lyra's life but I also want you to realise that I am her mother and pulling her in different directions isn't going to help her."

He nods his head once and then retreats back to the living room. I can hear him from my place in the kitchen. "Lyra lion cub come here!" he says with a laugh "I've got to take off but I'll be back to see you soon alright?"

I walk back into the room to find Harry near the door and Lyra clinging onto her father for dear life. "I promise I'll be back sweets." he says pulling free from her grasp. In a flash he is out the door and she is back in my arms.

"Why didn't he stay longer mama? I want him to stay." she sobs into my embrace.

_How do I make this better? _"Daddy just had to go pick up something for Uncle Harry. Maybe something for the Quidditch game... hey we should go and buy a new outfit for you to wear huh? You're going to love it... just like your Daddy."

She's looking back up at my face with a smile. "In Uncle Harry's colours yeah?"

"Anything you want sweetheart. Now how about some more brownies. Aunt Marty's not here to eat her share so you're gonna have to have another one before lunch to make up for her. I watch as she gobbles down the last of her first brownie, a smile on her face. How can anyone be loved this much? It seems impossible that I can fit all of my hopes and fears and love for this child in my heart.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

A knock at the door later that night takes the two of us by surprise. Curled up on the sofa together I'm reading up on some potions research and Lyra is sprawled over me fast asleep. I know that it can only be one person. Martha never bothers to knock. It still takes me by surprise however to see him standing in my doorway... for the second time in 24 hours. I put my finger to my lips to indicate quiet and open the door wider.

"She's asleep on the sofa." I whisper. "How come you didn't come back earlier? She would have still been awake."

He moves to come and sit with us. "I wanted to come back to apologise for earlier. I shouldn't have been mad at you for not wanting her on a broom. Bloody hell _I_ don't want her on a broom. I just- I wanted to be able to make that choice you know... I want to be her father."

I sigh. "I know you do... and you will be... you are. We just have to start talking about things. If we can get along it would be a bonus for her."

He nods his head slowly and we both continue to stare down at our daughter. Her hair is fanned out around her wild as can be and her little dragon pyjamas are getting too short in the leg. "She's so beautiful." He whispers.

"I know. She looks just like you."

"She has your lips... and that hair." he says sitting down with a chuckle. "I wish I could have seen her as a baby." I can feel the lump in my chest. "What was it like?"

It takes me a minute to answer as I take my seat on the other side of Lyra. "Scary as hell. Every part of it." I look across at him to find him staring at me intently. "I was so terrified about giving birth that I didn't have a chance to appreciate being pregnant. And then after she was born she just never stopped crying. I thought I would go mad that first month... I wanted you with me so bad that it physically hurt... but I couldn't bring myself to owl you. By that stage I thought that it was too late... that you wouldn't want... that you didn't want to be with me." I can feel hot tears running down my cheeks. I'm so embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

His thumb wipes the tears from my cheek. He's looking at me with more kindness than I deserve. "I would have been there in a heartbeat you know?" I nod my head and move back from his hand. I can't take the close contact... it's too much. "All I ever wanted was to be with you... I should never have... never have said what I said to Lupin and the others. But you have to know that-"

"- I don't want to talk about it. It's over now. We both know the truth and now we can just move forward for Lyra." I interrupt. My hands are shaking and I can feel my chest contract. Just thinking about his words all those years ago.

"No!" He says forcefully. "I need you to know the truth. This is for Lyra. Her mother needs to know how I really felt about her." He says taking back my hand.

"I do know Sirius. I heard you remember. I believe your words were _She's not the best shag I've ever had but she'll do for now_." Sirius' face is one of shock and I get up off the sofa. "I'm gonna put her to bed." I whisper reaching down and picking my baby up. Her warm little body is such a comfort to me right now.

He is still sitting with that look on his face when I walk down the hall towards Lyra's room. I pull back her covers, struggling slightly with one hand, and tuck her into bed. But before I leave the room I have to steady myself against the door frame. My mind is spinning and I can see his handsome face in my head... see him laughing surrounded by all of our friends... _She's not the best shag I've ever had but she'll do for now. She does have the most fantastic legs and God she can bend. Figures that she'd be the one to set me straight! _I'm brought out of my trance by a set of strong arms pulling me from the room. In a moment I'm up against the hallway wall. Sirius' face is so pained I think it might split down the centre. I look down trying to concentrate on anything other than his eyes. Finally after a few deep breaths he speaks. "Hermione I was so drunk that day I can barely remember who was there let alone what i was saying." He takes a deep breath. "I know that anything I said would have been in jest... I would never have said anything that I thought would hurt you. How could you think that I would deliberately hurt you like that?" I can hear the anger stirring in his voice and it only brings mine to the forefront.

"_How could I think that?_" I almost sneer at him. "I could think that because I'd heard you speak about so many other women the same way. And I was stupid enough to think that I was different... that you loved me because I was so God damned in love with you." I can feel the sobs in my throat.

"That's just it. I was in love with you." His hands relax around me and I can feel his defeat. "I would never have... why didn't you talk to me? Why didn't you...?"

I look up into his face. "You were laughing about me... telling them that I was an alright shag... that I could bend well... and that it figured that I would be the one to set you straight..." I can hear my voice laced with ice as the last sentence leaves my mouth. "I never tried to set you straight Sirius. I loved you for all of your faults. That is what hurt the most."

I move to step past him finally but he only pulls me closer. He's staring right into my eyes. "You did change me. With you by my side I was finally growing up... becoming someone that would be worthy of you. Then you left and I was alone. My stupid mouth... one lapse in judgement and I lost you. If you knew the pain that I was in-"

"Pain? I know the pain Sirius. I feel it every time I look at our daughter and see her looking at me with your eyes. When she lifts her chin higher or gets that crinkle in her forehead when she refuses to do something. Pain Sirius... I know the pain of loosing someone you love... of wishing you'd made different decisions because that would mean that you would still wake up next to them everyday." I'm sobbing openly now, hot tears rolling down my cheeks.

Then all of a sudden his lips are on them, kissing them away, making their way down to my own. I lift my head to meet his mouth. The kiss is so intense that I loose all of the air in my lungs. I fist my hands into his hair and feel his arms tighten around my waist. I never want it to end but eventually we pull away from each other panting slightly. "I'm sorry..." I whisper, all but collapsing into his chest. All of this time and I was still so painfully in love with him.

He tilts my chin back up to look at me. "Do you know how long I've waited for you to come back?" he says before kissing me softly. His lips move like silk over my own. The kiss is slow and heartfelt. I can feel his hands roaming up and down my back, over my shoulders. "Let me make love to you Mi." he whispers into my neck, my hair, my skin.

My hands are on his cheeks as he places kisses along my throat coming back up to kiss my lips and look into my eyes. I can't help but feel scared of what is to come. I haven't slept with anyone since I left him. My body is so different now. Not bad different... just different. What will he think of my wider hips... or the faded stretch marks on my breasts? I'm nervous as hell but there is no way that I am letting him go now.

Sensing my nerves he pulls back to look at me and pulls my body closer to his. "I love you. All of you... let me show you."

So I did...

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own Harry or anyone else… sigh!

Well everyone I'm crazy in love with you all right now! It seems like a lot of people are into this little story of mine. Keep the reviews coming. Thank you so much for all your feedback. Remember the more reviews the more I post.

**Chapter 6**

"Are you alright?" HIs breathing is laboured as he stares down at me.

I can feel myself flush under his gaze as I nod my head. Moving to my side he pulls me towards him. He kisses my shoulder blades while he waits for my words. "It's been a really long time." I whisper. I turn around so that I'm facing him. "But it felt like... like I'd never been gone." My hands are tracing the contours of his face.

"Promise me that you'll never leave again Mi."

My heartbeat is picking up and I can't help but start to cry. "Are you ever going to forgive me? Because I'm not sure that I can forgive myself you know."

His thumbs wipe my tears away. "I forgave you the moment I saw you in the bar that day. You were standing there with your curls springing free and that anxious expression... you looked just like you did when I picked you up from Harry's first Quidditch match, the first time we got together. I knew that I was in love with you then and I knew that day in the Leaky Cauldron that I was still in love with you. How could I not forgive you? You're the love of my life."

"Did you know that I had been in love with you for years before I got the guts to finally put the moves on you that night. Merlin I'd been hearing it from everyone _'Hermione just tell him already!'_ But I was terrified of the look on your face. So instead I decided to get rip roaring drunk and just try to seduce you." We were both laughing now as the memories were coming flooding back. "Do you remember how I fell over outside Grimmauld." I say shaking my head. "Yeah seduction wasn't really my thing. It wasn't until that uncomfortable moment when you picked me up from that game two days later that I could look you in the eye."

"Yeah well let's just say that if I hadn't been so sober myself I probably wouldn't have been the gentlemen I was. But God was that kiss worth the wait. I never should have waited that long to show you how I felt."

We're smiling at each other when a yell comes from down the hall. We're both up and out of the bed before we know it. Sirius is already moving towards the door. "No Sirius wait." I rush out swinging on my bathrobe. "She's probably had a nightmare. It'll frighten her if you go. She wouldn't be expecting it."

Understanding floods his face. "Of course. Go."

"Lyra baby what is it? Mama's here." I take her into my arms as she nuzzles into my shoulder.

"Mama there was a big monster with wings... you weren't listening when I was yelling. You were gone Mama like Daddy was." She hiccups.

"Baby I'm never going anywhere. It was just a dream. I promise. How about I sing to you until you fall back to sleep alright?"

Tucking her back under the covers I sweep her hair off her face and run my hand along our beautiful daughter's cheek. My soft words have her snoring in less than a minute but I can't stop myself from savouring this picture of her. A voice startles me from behind.

"Is she sleeping now?" Sirius baritone rings from the doorway.

Kissing her on the forehead I move towards him. "Why are you dressed?"

"I thought it would be better if I went home now... that way she won't get a shock in the morning. Better to take it slow right?" He says with a smile.

"Will you be back in the morning? Come for breakfast. I'll make pancakes."

"Nothing could stop me." He whispers before kissing me softly on the lips and heading towards the door. Just as he turns to go I call out softly.

"I love you Sirius." He grins at me again before heading out.

_I love him..._

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

"What the hell do you mean you slept with him?" Martha practically shouts at me across the breakfast table. Her face is twisted in that expression between shock and yuck...

I sigh before putting the bowl of batter down. "Martha keep your voice down. Lyra might hear you."

"More like she might hear the two of you. Sheesh... I mean one minute you're all _how am I ever going to look at him again_ and the next minute you're jumping in the sack!"

"It wasn't like that. I mean last night he came over and we were talking... and I was upset... and he... he told me that he still loved me. He explained about what happened that night I left. Martha it was all a mistake. He... look he explained and I forgave him alright?"

She just continues to stare at me.

"I'm an adult Martha. I don't need anyone's permission." I huff out before returning to the stove. There is silence for around another minute but Martha never was very good at holding her tongue.

"So was the sex good?" I whip around to see her swinging on the back legs of her chair. "Oh come on Mi you have to share at least that with me. I mean the guy is a hottie... no doubt there!"

I can feel the blush rising up my chest. "It was... good."

Her eyebrows are up in an instant and the two front legs of the chair come down. "Good? Ok then... what was the problem?"

"Problem? I just said it was good?"

"Look no one has sex with a man _that_ attractive, after being celibate for_ that_ long I might add, without it being a little more than good, _unless_ there is a problem."

I know that there is no eluding from this. I may as well give her what she wants to hear. "It had just been a while... and I was a little freaked out. But Sirius was more than equipped to deal with that." I say with a cheeky grin "Happy now?"

"Merlin I wish I was having sex! Just throw me down right here and I-"

"Crass too? Who would have thought?" a voice interrupts from the kitchen doorway. Harry is standing just inside the frame. _Uh Oh!_

Martha is up and out of her chair before you can say surprise. "WHAT is your damage Potter? You don't just sneak up on people like that! That was a private conversation." She all but yells.

"Oh I got that... but just for the record, the guy throwing you down isn't gonna be me!"

And there's that look again. Shock or yuck? I can never tell. "In. Your. Dreams." With that said she turns around and comes to take over from me at the stove.

"Hi Harry." I say giving him a hug. "So how much did you hear?" I question closer to his ear.

"Enough to wonder why Sirius isn't eating pancakes with us in his boxers right now." he replies with a grin.

"That would be because I sleep in the nude Harry." _God does nobody knock anymore?_ My face lights up as Sirius moves further into my tiny kitchen. But before I can get to him there is a small blur in front of me and Lyra is in his arms, hair _absolutely_ everywhere and eyes bright.

"Well don't you look just like your Mama does in the morning!" He says with a laugh, tugging gently at her curls. She's all giggles as he progresses to throw her over his shoulder and levitate her with his wand over the table.

She can hardly get her words out she's laughing so hard. "Higher higher!"

My heart on the other hand is pumping a million miles an hour out of fear. _She could fall. _ I tell myself. _He wouldn't let that happen._ I argue back. But before I can get the order out to put her down Sirius' eyes connect with mine and he's speaking. "I think we're freaking your Mama out a bit Cub. Let's get you seated." Then levitating her into one of the chairs at the table he gives her a kiss on the forehead and comes to hug me. I relax into his arms immediately. His chest was always the warmest place on earth. "I missed you."

"It's only been a few hours." I say looking up at him.

"A few hours too long. Remind me again why I didn't just stay?"

"Because we want our daughter to be well adjusted." I reply with a smile.

"Ahhh yes that... then he's pulling me out of the kitchen and into the hall. His lips are on mine in an instant and before long we're trying to catch our breath. "I waited the past seven hours to do that." He says resting his forehead against mine.

"I told Martha."

"I gathered you would... didn't figure on Harry finding out yet but that's a bonus. Just means that we won't have to make any announcements. He'll tell someone who'll let it slip to someone and next thing you know... everyone knows. No hassle!"

"At some point between now and when everyone knows I'm going to have to have a talk to Lyra." He just nods his head. " It's always been just her and me. As much as I know that she needs you in her life it's going to be strange for her at first." I'm trying to be careful with my words... gauge his reaction.

"Mi we can go as slow or fast as you want. I'm not going anywhere. I trust you to know what is best for Lyra at the moment... but I want to be able to have my say too." he says, obviously trying to gauge my reaction judging by his tone.

"OK then." I say slowly. "As slow or fast as I want... and yes you get your say. After all she's your daughter too." Then I kiss him gently on the cheek before returning to the kitchen. Thank Merlin I returned when I did too. Something had obviously gone down in the little time I had been gone. Lyra oblivious to everything except the pancakes in front of her has not noticed the bright red of her Aunt Marty's face. She is livid and I can see her hand reaching for her back pocket where her wand is sticking out. Harry like Lyra is oblivious, just standing there against the counter looking smug. _What did you say to her Harry Potter?_ "Marty!" I practically yell to get her attention.

She spins around to face me, her face red with rage. Then turning white she walks briskly from the room, Harry standing dumbstruck behind her.

"Martha wait! What happened?" I ask catching up to her before she reaches the front door.

"I've gotta go." She can't make eye contact with me. "I'll call you tomorrow." And with that she's out my front door and apparated before I can get another word in.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **Still don't Harry or any of the others.

Thought I'd give you a different perspective… hope everyone's cool with that. Thank you so much to all of you who have added this little fic to your favourites list! Reviews are welcome!

**Chapter 7**

_Martha_

My face is burning and I can't seem to keep my breathing under control. _I won't let him get to me. I won't let him get to me. _My mantra isn't working as well as I would like. My heart is still pounding hard in my chest. _How dare he! How the hell did he know? Only Hermione knew... did she tell him?_

My thoughts are racing fast as I process his words... _"I know who you are, or more to the point, what you did!" _ I turn the corner fast almost at my building. I hadn't gotten around to letting some of my wards down yet so I've been burning the calories that Lyra's brownies contain by walking the two blocks to my flat from my apparitiion point. I haven't been in my flat ten minutes before there is a knock on my door. I know who it is.

Opening it I see Hermione is just as red as me, slightly out of breath. "Martha what did he say?" she says, sliding through the door.

"You should know! You're the one who obviously told him who I am!" I practically yell.

"WHAT? I did no such thing!"

"Mi he knew. He _knew_!" My voice is breaking but I refuse to let myself crack.

Hermione is looking at me with an expression of such tenderness that I have to look away. Before I can get another word in she has her arms wrapped around me in a warm hug. "Marty I swear that he figured it out on his own. I didn't say a word. You know me better than that."

I pull back from her nodding my head. "I just thought that things would be different here... that no one would know."

"No one does. Harry only guessed because of your name and where you come from. And I know that you hate to hear it, but sometimes your resemblance to Snape is uncanny."

"Hermione I have it on good authority that I look a great deal more like my mother than my father! Thank Merlin!"

She shakes her head. "I meant your mannerisms, the way you lift your chin... and the scowl. You really have to quit it with the scowling!" she says with a laugh.

You would think that knowing that he found out on his own would make me feel better, but it doesn't. The fact that he knows at all makes me want to hurl. "So I guess that means he knows about what happened at Salem... about what I've done."

There is a slight pause. "If anyone was going to know then yeah he would. The ministry keeps him well informed. But Martha he wouldn't judge you on it. We did much worse when we were kids."

"Yeah but you were working for the right side." I sigh as I go to sit down on the sofa. "And as much as you say he won't judge me, he will. I'm an ex death eater who just so happens to be the illegitimate child of Severus Snape. That shit that I pulled as a teenager is going to haunt me forever!"

Hermione can see me slipping into a funk and knows that I need some time alone. Going to the door she turns around with some parting words. "Like you said Marty. You did that shit as a teenager. You had no idea what it meant... and you have more than paid the price. It'll only continue to haunt you if you let it." I look up a few seconds later and she's gone, leaving me to my thoughts.

_If I had known what it would mean..._ I can still see his face clear as day as he fell to his death, eyes locked with mine. There was no way that I could have reached out in time... that I could have stopped the spell that practically ripped him in two. I watched as it spilt his innocent blood and I knew that I was done. I knew that I had never belonged there. Escaping to my father was my freedom. Away from my fanatical pureblood mother and straight into the hands of one who I had never met. Then it turns out that he worked for the Dark Lord himself. I thought he was my escape and instead he sent me packing to live with some muggle family back in the U.S. When I heard at a later time about his role for The Order I'd felt even more like a misfit. I'd allowed myself to become engulfed in a ridiculous manic plot of a psychopath and his followers, while my father had fought and been seriously wounded for everything that at one point I had stood against. I promised myself then and there that I would never let anyone manipulate me again.

One week later I found out that my mother had been killed in the final battle. I knew that there was no longer anything to hide from back in Salem so I returned to my home town where I worked my ass off to become one of the best potions masters of my graduating class. It was there that I met Hermione. The stares that I received from our classmates told her that something was up with my past and I had to come clean about everything. I thought that it would be the end of our friendship but instead she looked deep into my face and said just one sentence. "You eyes are telling me that you are more than paying the price for whatever you did." She and Lyra became my world. I had lost my family and they had none to speak of. It seemed destined that we would become like sisters. When she decided to move back to London, there was never any question of me coming with them.

... But then Harry Potter has to show his damn self and everything that I've managed to put behind me these last few years comes hurling to the forefront of my mind. _"I know who you are, or more to the point, what you did!" _I can't shake his words from my mind... the tone of his voice. The disgust. The gloating nature of it. _If he thinks this is going to change anything then he's bloody delusional! Martha Von-Fursten no longer takes shit from anyone! Certainly not Harry Potter... still I don't want to see him anytime in the near future._

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

_Hermione_

It takes me a good twenty minutes to get back home. And by the time I do I really don't have enough energy to get involved in yet another argument with Harry. He's shuffling his feet in the middle of the kitchen. Lyra is still seated at the table, only a colouring book has replaced the breakfast.

"She's pissed then?" He blurts out when I enter the room.

"What's pissed?" Lyra says head popping up.

"Mad." Sirius says from behind me.

"Language!" I say to Harry. "And yeah she is!"

"It's not how I meant it you know..." Harry begins.

"Look Harry I really can't get into this right now. I'd say apologise but truthfully I think that you should just stay away from Marty ok?"

"Well I'm not gonna say sorry for her mood swings."

I roll my eyes heavenward. "When did you become a twenty eight year old child? You were the one antagonising her!"

"See I knew you would take her side over mine."

"Merlin Stop! I'm not taking sides. I don't even want to discuss it. Martha will calm down and you will steer clear of her." Taking a breath I sit down next to Lyra. "Problem solved."

Sirius is trying not to laugh. I can see it as clear as day. Then all of a sudden his eyebrows shoot up. "You have a thing for the Yank don't you?" His voice is excited and teasing at the same time.

Harry guffaws. "Hardly! I've met her twice and both times she's been completely horrendous. Then put on top of that her background and-"

"She's not that person anymore Harry." I say gritting my teeth a little.

But Harry continues on. "And sure she's attractive but come on, eventually Snape's genes are bound to pop up in that face."

Sirius just smirks. "So you think she's attractive then?"

Harry simply throws his hands up in the air. "I'm out of here. You're killing me with your theories!"

He's putting his jacket on when Lyra decides that she needs to put her usual two cents in, which will undoubtedly result in some sort of explanation from me. "Aunty Marty has a boyfriend."

All three adults in the room pause for at least a minute. "No she doesn't." I eventually say. There were literally no other words that came to me.

"Does to!" Lyra states, still colouring.

"Who?" Harry and Sirius ask at the same time.

Lyra, huffy at being interrupted during such an important pastime as drawing gives an exasperated sigh. "I don't know who. I just know that she has one. I saw her speaking with him when we went shopping together." We all exchange looks before she drops the bomb. "He was very pretty."

"Well just because she was speaking to a man does not make him her boyfriend." Lyra just shrugs. And that seems to be all we're going to get out of her. Harry's face is expressionless as he says his goodbyes, probably worried that any show of emotion will set Sirius off again.

When he's gone and the three of us are sitting at the table there is an uncanny feeling of... normal. Sirius of course feels the need to break the peace. "So I thought that we could go over to the Burrow today. Molly invited us for lunch." My head has snapped up. "What do you think?"

"I think that when I saw Ron a few days ago I was the last person he wanted to lay eyes on in the near future." Putting my head in my hands I shake my head in frustration. "Honestly Sirius if that's how he feels how do you think everyone else is going to react?"

"I think that's it's better to face the music now than deal with Molly's wrath later if we turn down today's offer." He says it with a smirk but I can hear the serious nature of his tone. This is important. As much as I tried to forget, these people were a big part of my life. They were my friends… my family…

"You're right. What time is she expecting us?" I ask, taking a deep breath.

"Not for a few hours. Plenty of time to get yourself looking smashing." He's laughing and I can't help but smile. "You too cub!"

"Can I be smashing too?" Her eyes have grown wide and Sirius is practically suffocating with fits of laughter.

I'm laughing in earnest myself "You know she gets the vanity from you?" I say between breaths.

"Yeah but she gets the beauty from you." Sirius says kissing me full on the lips. My own respond instantly to his and it's all I can do not to moan right there in the middle of the kitchen. Instead I pull away to look at our daughter who has the widest grin on her face.

"Come on baby. Let's get you looking even more _smashing_ than usual." I say as she jumps from the table. She's running up the hall towards her wardrobe before I've even stood up. _She's so like her father sometimes it scares me._

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **Much to my eternal disappointment I still don't own Harry Potter.

This was an interesting chapter to write. I thought we needed to shake things up a bit. I promise that the next one will be more exciting… a lot more drama filled with some sweet thrown in.

**Chapter 8**

Four hours later I'm standing on the doorstep of The Burrow. My palms are sweating, my arms are itchy and if I'm completely honest with myself I'm so nervous that I feel as if I'm going to wet myself. Even Sirius looks a little tense. I look down to see Lyra standing in front of the two of us, her hair pulled back in two long loose braids, those big grey eyes staring straight at me. In an instant I'm calm… calm for my daughter. It's funny how being a parent makes you an adult in an instant.

I smile at Sirius and he knocks once before entering. Lyra skips in behind him and after taking a deep breath I follow them. Everything looks the same. It's uncanny really. The kitchen looks exactly the same as it did when we were teenagers. There are dishes washing themselves, knitting needles clicking… and of course the Weasley Family clock. I notice straight away that all hands point to _At Home_. I guess no one was going to miss this show for all the galleons in London.

"Hermione!" Molly has me wrapped in her arms before I can even manage a hello. "Oh dear it's so good to see you again!" She hugs me tighter if possible and I feel guilt pooling in the pit of my stomach. _I didn't just leave Sirius when I left… I left them all._

When I'm finally released it's straight into another set of arms. Arthur Weasley was just like Molly when it came to treating me like a daughter. I'm pretty much cast from one set of arms to another as every Weasley hugs me as hard as they can. Every Weasley that is except Ron and Ginny. They are noticeably absent. Then all eyes seem to be drawn to Lyra who up until now has been standing patiently next to her father.

"Well hey there!" Charlie Weasley says kneeling down to meet her at eye level. "I'm Charlie and I hear that you like dragons!"

Her little face lights up at the mention of the scaly things. "You're the dragon trainer brother!" Lyra squeals with a clap of her hands. She would indeed pick a dragon over pretty much every other magical creature. "I'm Lyra" she introduces herself thrusting out her hand, before stating with an authority beyond her years, "I'm sitting next to you at lunch."

I glance at all the smitten redheads in the room and back at the confident child in front of me. She dressed herself after breakfast. She's wearing her favourite green fairy t-shirt with a pair of jeans that I charmed at her request to sparkle fairy dust around the cuffs … Sirius of course completed the look by conjuring a daisy chain, that she placed straight around her head. I can't help but smile at how much she looks like a mini muggle hippy.

Everyone starts to file into the dining room (it seems so formal sitting anywhere but the kitchen). I stop to pull on Molly's arm. "Molly… Is Ron at home?"

Her face falls slightly. "He just needs some time. You know what Ron's like… he…"

"I'm what?" A sharp voice asks behind us.

She doesn't even hesitate. "You're a stubborn man who is acting like a child. You should just be happy that she's safe."

Ron's face is flat. "Yeah well I didn't hear you sounding so chipper when you found out about the kid she kept from Sirius! In fact I remember you mentioning a few things that would definitely not be considered 'safe'."

"Ronald Weasley!" Molly all but yells at him.

I place a reassuring hand on her arm. "Molly it's fine. I'm sure I deserved more than that. You had a right to be mad, but Ron" I say turning directly to face him "I'm back now and I'm trying to make up for what happened. I don't know how many times I can apologise before it starts to lose it's meaning."

"Well from where I'm standing you haven't apologised to us once!" This time it's Ginny who has spoken. Stepping up to stand next to Ron, she flicks her long hair behind her left ear. I can't help but gasp at her beauty. She was always pretty, but she's truly grown into a stunning woman… and she's pregnant.

"Ginny-"

"I was under the impression that we were 'close'. I guess I got that pretty damn wrong!" Her face is as stern as Ron's but there's something behind her eyes that I can't decipher. "I for one though don't want to hear an apology." Ron turns to gape openly at her. "What? I'm serious! I don't want to hear it. She had her reasons. What's done is done Ron. There's more to life than holding grudges." She rubs her belly before walking past me into the dining room.

Ron's shaking by this stage. "Ron please." I take two steps towards him but he's shaking his head.

'No!" he yells. "You don't just get to pretend that you didn't put me through hell! And why? Because you fucked Sirius Black! You FUCKED him and then had his fucking kid Hermione!"

"That's enough Ron!" Sirius' deep voice is firm as he places his arm around my waist. I don't realise until that moment that tears are running down both my own face and Ron's.

"Enough? Enough is it? Yeah well it sure looks like you forgave her pretty damn quick! How'd Parkinson take that Sirius? You know, the woman you were shagging up until last week?"

I feel as if the wind has been knocked out of me! Sirius tightens his grip on my waist before letting go completely and taking a step towards the seething man in front of us. Ron's face drops as if he's only just realised what he's done. His gaze strays to mine and my eyes must say it all. "Hermio-"

"Lyra!" I yell into the dining room.

"Mi don't do this!" Sirius says trying to grab my arm.

I ignore him. Pulling Lyra up into my arms I turn to Molly. "It was too soon Molly." It's all I say before I run to the kitchen door. Sirius is hot on my heals but he can't get to me before I apparate away.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

"Martha!" I yell banging on her door. "Martha open up!"

The door swings inwards. "Hermione what are you doing back here? I swear I heard you this morn-" She stops mid sentence seeing my grimace and Lyra's tears. "What happened?"

"MUMMY WOULDN'T LET ME STAY AND TALK TO CHARLIE!" Lyra screams, breaking into fresh tears. Scrambling down from my hold she thrusts herself into Marty's legs before running straight into her living room.

"Charlie Weasley? When the hell did she meet Charlie Weasley?"

I lean against the doorframe. My whole body feels as if it's going to fold in on itself. "Martha I just need you to watch her for a few hours while I get myself together."

"Hermione I'm not letting you leave without telling me what happened."

"We went to the Weasley's for lunch. We didn't stay for too long. There was a lot of yelling… from Ron. Sirius has been screwing Pansy Parkinson… that is pretty much before he screwed me last night… and then Lyra screamed bloody murder when we left because I'd wrecked what in her eyes was a perfectly entertaining lunch! Martha I need a few hours to myself! Please." My chest is heaving and I know I'm on the verge of breaking right here.

"Leave her here overnight. I'll bring her around in the morning or something…" Martha's voice is quiet and like always she knows exactly what I need. "Are you sure you don't want to stay as well? We can give her a sleeping draught and get rip roaring drunk?" I just smile at her, a tear running down my cheek. "Okay well I'll see you tomorrow then."

I nod once and all but run from the apartment. I know exactly what I need and where I'm going to get it!

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **No I don't own Harry Potter.

Another update for you guys. Love the reviews! Keep them coming.

**Chapter 9.**

Sometimes there are simply no words to describe how I feel knowing that there is a little person who is completely dependent on me… on me alone… up until recently that is. It's moments like right now when I'm ready to pull my hair out from it's roots I'm so damn furious, that I wish my life had taken a different path. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter more than life itself. When I look at her all I have are beautiful memories… memories of our life that has been so special. But I'm twenty-eight years old, and sometimes I feel as if I'm fifty!

_Pansy Parkinson! Seriously! What the hell Sirius?_ It's not even that I'm furious with him. I'm only _angry_ with him. I'm furious with myself, for falling straight back into his arms when I came back to London. I can try to pretend as much as l like that I didn't want to, but deep down I know the truth. The simple fact is I've thought about the man every day since I've been gone and damn him for not thinking about me! Instead he was thinking about Parkinson and those ridiculous fake boobs!

I've been sitting at the train station for the entire afternoon and almost half the night. I'm not going anywhere. I simply thought it was the safest place for me - no chance of hexing myself or anyone else in the middle of a thousand or so muggles. However, seeing as how it's well past midnight the crowds are dwindling. I really don't want to go home just yet, but my arms are pretty cold. The wind has quite the bite to it and I didn't exactly plan ahead… therefore I'm still in a hugging tee and summer skirt. Yep it's official… I'm freezing!

Apparating home would mean a hot shower and right now that's exactly what I need. God if only everything could be washed away that easily. Pulling my wand from my waistband (old habits die hard) I take a quick peek around to make sure all eyes are looking elsewhere. In a turn and flash I'm gone and outside my building. Walking up the stairs my hand catches on the banister and a shard of wood goes right into my palm. "Shit!" My hand begins to bleed more than a little and I'm reminded how much rent I'm paying… too much!

My wards take me another minute and I'm so bloody focused on my hand that I miss the purple glow before my last spell is cast. As soon as I open the door the purple makes sense. Somehow he's managed to crack my security… He's sitting on my sofa, head in his hands. At my intake of breath he jumps up.

"Go home Sirius." My voice is flat. I really _really _don't want to do this right now. What I want is a shower.

"Hermione you've been missing for half the night! Where the bloody hell have you been?" His voice is rough and his five o'clock shadow is back. "Do you know how worried I was? Where's Lyra?"

"She's safe with Martha. I'm having a shower. When I get out you'll be gone and I can go to bed."

"HERMIONE! Look at me damn it! We need to talk about this." His anger is palpable but mine is worse.

I can feel my hands start to shake. "No we really don't." I'm still walking down the hall.

_I will not turn around. I will not turn around. _"Oh no you don't. You're running again-" I turn around.

"I CAN'T RUN SIRIUS! SHE'S SEEN YOU NOW HASN'T SHE!" I scream into his face. "She knows you and now I can never leave!" His face is shocked but his eyes are glowing furiously. "Up until hours ago it would have been the last thing on earth I wanted, but you had sex with Pansy Parkinson Sirius… you made love to that woman and you knew how I felt about her… how she's treated me even after the war!"

"I didn't _make love_ to her! I fucked her! There's a fucking difference!" He's shaking and he's backed me up to my bedroom door.

"Well that's fucking news to me!" I push at his chest as hard as I can and he stumbles backwards. My hand sends pain up my arm and I'm reminded of my cut "Shit!" Taking my chance I turn from him intending to slam the door right in his face. With any luck it'll break that gorgeous nose. But he's too quick for me. Before I know it he's picked me up and has me pinned against my bedroom wall, his hips holding me up with one hand gripping my ass cheek and the other braced against the wall beside me.

"Put me down you BASTARD!"

"Not until we talk! You're going to hear me out Mi whether you want to or not!" My chest is heaving and I know that my skirt has ridden all the way up my thighs. _Damn him!_ I refuse to speak to him. "Yes I screwed her. Yes it was more than once. Yes I regret it now. But NO I did not do it to hurt you… and as soon as I found out you were back I put a stop to it… even before I knew about Lyra." While his face is pleading mine is like stone. He leans into my lips and I turn my head to the side. This is Sirius Black I'm talking about though. It's not like a little cheek is going to deter him. "Mione…" I can feel his wandless magic in my palm and my hand flashes hot and the cut seals.

His breath is hot on my neck as he kissed down to my collarbone, hoisting me further up the wall. He grips my bum just that little bit tighter and it's all I need for my head to fall back. "Talk to me Mi." He growls.

"Get off me." I whisper, wrapping my legs around his waist. He takes it as the affirmative that it is and tries to kiss me. Again I dodge his lips.

"Just let me kiss you for Merlin's sake!" His hands are making short work of my skirt and his pants and all I can do is stare at him, at this man that I love more than pretty much anyone other than my daughter. We made a baby together for goodness sake!

I pull his face towards mine and stare right into his eyes. "I hate you for the way you make me feel about you!" Tears are running down my cheeks before I know it and then we're as close as two people can get and I can't feel anything but him. I wrap my arms around him pulling him closer.

Breathing hard he rests his forehead against my own. "No you don't sweetheart."

I start sobbing and kissing him at the same time, so obviously I can't breathe. "Why do you do this to me? Why?"

"Mi, you're my world. You are now and you were then. Why do you have to doubt me like this."

It takes me a minute to answer. I can feel myself shuddering against him and although we're finished he's still holding onto me. "Because I don't know how to trust you Sirius. I don't know how to trust you with my heart." He doesn't say anything, as he hugs me tighter against him and walks us to the bed. _Well there goes the hot shower… not that I need warming up now._

"I love you and I'm not leaving." He pulls the covers up with a flick of his wand and I'm enveloped in his warmth once more. "… and you know I'm trying to trust you too, so would it kill you to give me a break here." His voice is muffled against my shoulder.

My anger has abated and right now exhaustion has taken precedence in my body. "Alright Sirius… I'm giving you a break." _Forget Parkinson Hermione. He's here with you, not her! _

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

Light is shining through my blinds and I'm suddenly very aware of how late it must be. Sirius walks through the bedroom door with two mugs in his hands. "Martha still has Lyra you know. She'll be ready to start pulling teeth soon" I say taking a mug from him. I can feel the blush start to work its way up my chest as I remember just how I'd been woken up this morning. He's still wearing just those boxer briefs. If I don't get going soon Lyra might end up living at Martha's.

"Stop stressing." He says kissing me on the mouth softly before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Sirius our daughter is mischievous beyond belief! Martha loves her dearly but I pretty much left her there crying and in a fit, so it's my guess that if we don't get over there soon, there'll be hell to pay!" I talk a gulp of my own coffee but only get half down my throat. The rest comes spraying out of my mouth when I hear Sirius' next words.

"Lucky I sent Harry round to the Yank's house then isn't it?"

"You What?"

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

REVIEWS PLEASE!


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **Unfortunately I still don't own Harry Potter. It all belongs to J.K. I only wish I was as amazing as she is!

Well guys I apologise for how long it's taken me to update. I've had to get a few things together for the storyline. There are a few bumps ahead for Hermione/Sirius and I wanted to get them in order. What does everyone think about Harry/Martha? I'd love to hear your thoughts so review please. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Chapter 10.**

_Martha_

Hermione owes me BIG time! Now I love Lyra… like she was my own… but bloody hell! I don't get up for anyone at 6am, and yet here I stood at that very time this morning making scrambled eggs with my eyes closed while an incredibly alert five year old lectured me on the pros of an early start. _Sometimes she's way too much like her mother!_

Four hours later, a pan of burnt eggs, two bowls of cereal, seven drawings, and a headache later there's finally a knock at the door. _Thank Merlin! _I'm at the door in less than three steps. When I swing it open however, I'm suddenly sixteen again! In other words I'm completely out of my comfort zone!

"Are you going to stand there with your mouth hanging open all day, or are you going to invite me in?" The infamous Harry bloody Potter is standing in my doorway taking the piss out of me, one eyebrow raised. _I haven't had nearly enough sleep to deal with this. Shit maybe I'm dreaming and Lyra's burning down my flat trying to cook brownies? And I HAVE NOT been staring at him with my mouth open! _

I blink a few times, pinch my arm subtly and come to terms with the fact that yes this is really happening. _Now to deal with it!_ "No I certainly will not! I don't know you from a bar of soap Harry Potter, so you won't be stepping an inch inside my home!"

His face emits distaste. "Too many dark artifacts in there _Snape_?"

"My name is _Von-Fursten_! Martha _Von-Fursten!_" I can hear the steel in my voice. He must too.

He shrugs and rolls his eyes. "Whatever." The silence between us is deafening.

"Alright Potter what the bloody hell are you doing here?" _This is just too weird._ _Why do I dislike this man so much?"_

At that moment Lyra chooses to pull herself away from my television (something Hermione strictly forbids but I've found to be incredibly useful when entertaining her wild daughter) and comes skipping to the door. "Hello Harry." She says shyly from around my legs. _Shyly? God he's charmed her alright!_

"Hello sweetheart!" It seems to be the first genuine response from him the entire time he's been standing there. "That's what." He says looking back up at me and nodding at Lyra. "I'm picking up the munchkin here and taking her home to Hermione's."

"Hmph um no you're not dude!" I reply right back.

"Uh yes I am."

"Look you might be Harry Potter but that doesn't mean I know you any better. I'm not letting you take my goddaughter anywhere. Not unless I have the go-ahead from Hermione."

"Are you for real?" His face is one of shock… no anger… no shock…

"Yeah I am. Hermione's really strict about this sort of stuff. You'd know that if you'd been around the last few years."

"It's not like she left me much of a choice there did she." His face is stone flat.

I take his approach from earlier, shrugging. "Whatever."

"Well I can't exactly owl her when I don't have an owl now can I?" He says through gritted teeth.

"Not my problem Potter."

"You know what you are Von-Fursten? A right bit-"

"-and I'm going to stop you right there." I say shutting the door square in his face. "Prick" I mutter underneath my breath so Lyra won't hear.

Said five year old has other ideas however! "That wasn't very nice Aunt Marty! Harry's Mama's friend! And he likes 'Rion and Daddy too." She's got her hands on her hips and I feel as if I'm being scolded. "Oh bloody hell!" I swing the door back open. Potter's still standing there wide mouthed… shocked out of his brain no doubt that someone of the opposite gender has failed to deliver an invitation into her home. "Well come on then Potter. You're letting the morning chill in." I say swinging my arm in an open gesture.

His brows shoot up again and he crosses the threshold into my tiny studio. _And now comes the part where he takes the piss out of your home. _"Lyra sweets, go pack up the colouring stuff on the bench and we'll get going. I'll come with you to drop her off. I want to see Hermione anyway." I say to his questioning look.

"I am capable of apparating myself and a five year old." He says looking around the room. I don't even bother answering. Instead I grab a pair of chucks lying by the sofa and begin the task of pulling them onto my sore as hell feet. _That's what happens when you're standing for half the night!_ Looking up, I catch him staring at the very reason my feet are aching. "Did you do this?" He questions, not breaking eye contact with the canvas set up on my crappy old easel.

"Yep." I answer, popping the 'p'. His hand reaches out to touch it. "Don't!" I all but yell. "It's still wet!" He seems to snap out of it suddenly, his eyes returning to normal, his brow furrowed. I can't help but feel uncomfortable standing here like this, as his eyes travel around my studio. I follow his gaze taking in everything that he is. My small kitchen where Lyra is taking a painstakingly long time putting one pencil at a time back in her 'Drawing bucket', the coconut soap smell coming from my even smaller bathroom, the messily collaged wall behind the sofa I'm currently perched on, the dozen or so canvases leaning against every available surface… and of course my large ass wrought iron bed pushed against the far wall. _Merlin I should have made the bed._ Yes my place is small… but it's all mine and I love it. It's the first time I've ever had my own space.

"So you're an artist…?" His voice is small… unsure.

"No… yes… I don't know. Are we gonna have this conversation Potter? Really? I'd rather not." _Yes that was bitchy._

His face hardens again. "Fine by me."

_How long does it take to pack up a few pencils and pick up a few drawings? _"Lyra time to go. Grab your pictures so we can get moving. I'll finish up when I get back." I yell, grabbing our jackets from the arm of the sofa.

"'Kay." she says bounding over, her drawings partially scrunched in her tight little fist. I pull the zipper up on the jacket she's just slipped on.

"Is it cold out?" I ask Harry.

"A little." He answers giving me a perplexed look as he watches me pull a rather large woolen beanie from over by my bed and prop it onto Lyra's head. She giggles as it falls down over her eyes.

"Hold still." I tell her, laughing a little myself. With a flick of the wand it shrinks to fit her head perfectly. Then I twist my wand once more and it turns hot pink. "So let's go then."

"Isn't Aunt Marty great?" My goddaughter exclaims, jumping up and down before taking one of Harry's hands.

If anything, his perplexed look is even more… perplexed? "Yeah, she's definitely something."

I snort in response and push them both out the door. _God I'll have to actually touch him to apparate! My life sucks!_ In less than ten seconds we're outside Hermione's building. _She SO owes me BIG time!_

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

_Hermione_

_Yep she's pissed. Oh Martha I promise it wasn't my idea! _"Daddy!" …_And my daughter just ran straight past me. I'm definitely not anyone's favourite person today. _

"Marty it wasn't-" I begin.

"-Don't Hermione." She interrupts. "The morning has been hectic enough. I know you wouldn't have sent Potter without a damn good reason and after seeing you yesterday I'm gathering there was one."

"There was I promise."

"Yeah well let's not delve into it now. I'm bloody exhausted and still need to finish a lot of work at home before my shift tonight." She says with a yawn.

"I was thinking that I'd pop in later at the pub. Catch a free drink like old times? I've missed our Salem Saturdays."

She smiles one of those genuine Marty grins. "Me too… Sounds good." Harry is watching us from the kitchen entryway. _Just what are you thinking Harry Potter? _His gaze is so bloody focused on my best friend, I feel myself beginning to blush in their presence. "Lyra hun I'll see you later. Promise you'll come sleep over again soon!" She winks at me before catching my ever-growing baby in her arms.

"Definitely! Next time we can paint with the brownie mix!" Lyra's little eyes light up at the possibilities of her suggestion. Martha simply laughs.

"Yeah maybe… a solid maybe." She throws a quick bye to Sirius over her shoulder and gives Harry what I can only class as a nod as she leaves. _Well that wasn't weird at all!_

As soon as she's gone I turn on Sirius. "I could kill you right now yo know?"

Of course, he's smirking, his hands raised in a _What?_ gesture. "Don't know what you could possibly be referring to love.."

"How could you send Harry over there? I told you how she feels about the whole thing!"

Harry pushes himself off the kitchen doorframe. "How she feels about what whole thing?" He says walking over to the two of us.

I sigh in exasperation. "Oh no you don't Harry Potter. You know exactly what I'm talking about! You bloody well agreed to go over there when I specifically told you to leave her alone not twenty-four hours ago. She's not interested in playing nice with you. She's been through a lot and she's a good person. She's a good friend… my best friend."

"I didn't say anything that would have antagonised her I promise… well not really… I did sort of call her a bit- never mind."

"Oh Merlin!" I yell.

Sirius bursts into fits of laughter. "Not the way to break into those pants mate!"

"SIRIUS!" Harry and I both yell at the same time.

"KIdding! Sheesh! Hey Cub let's go for a walk and let mummy pick on Harry some more huh?" I'm frowning as he tosses our daughter over his shoulder and struts out the front door, with Lyra giggling the whole way. "We'll be home in a bit." he calls out.

There's a silence before he speaks. "Did she really do all those paintings?" His voice is piqued.

I look up at him from where I'm seated on my lounge. "Yeah she did."

"They were… amazing. I've never… I mean they… It was like they _spoke _to me." He shakes his head and laughs at himself. "That made sense in my head."

"No they do. She's so talented. It's a real gift… one that she's only been able to pour out recently." _What's with the interest Harry?_

"Harry do you like Martha?"

"WHAT?" His eyebrows have shot up to meet his faded scar. "No! I just thought the paintings were good… didn't think they were hers to be perfectly honest!" _And now we're back to obnoxious 'in denial' Harry._

"Okay then." I deadpan.

"So where's this pub she works at? And why is she working at a pub when she can paint like that?"

"Merlin Harry can you be anymore obvious? COME ON?" I start to laugh outright at him. "She is beautiful. You wouldn't be the first to notice that."

"Hermione I'm not interested like that." He grits his teeth a little.

"Whatever. She works down at The Three Broomsticks a few nights a week to pay rent on that studio of hers. She hasn't sold any paintings yet… she doesn't usually show anyone her work, which is why I'm completely shocked she let you into her place at all!"

"She wasn't exactly welcoming!"

"Would you be if the situation were reversed? Harry think about the way you've been with her. I know she's not the easiest person to warm to at first but you've really gone to town on getting under her skin."

He runs a hand through his already messy hair. "Yeah yeah. Look would you be opposed to me swinging by The Three Broomsticks sometime?"

"I think it'll take a lot more than a drink." _Oh why the hell not Hermione? Give him the go ahead already!_ "She has a thing for chili chocolate frogs. There! I've given you an inside scoop. Do with it what you will! Now let's have some coffee and discuss what the hell I'm going to do about making things right with Ron!"

He follows me into the

kitchen and swear I hear him mutter "I love chili chocolate frogs." under his breath. _I know you do Harry. I know you do._

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter.

Sorry for the delay everyone! Life has been hectic. I've only just had time to upload this chapter. I promise to continue so never fear… I will be finishing all of my fanfics. Enjoy and don't forget to review.

**Chapter 11.**

_Martha_

Sore feet are the curse of a barmaid! _Should have stuck with the damn potions! Wouldn't be pouring drinks for imbeciles if I worked in a freaking potions lab!… Wouldn't have time to paint either Marty! _In the mirror behind the bar I see another wizard leaning too far over. He falls from his barstool. _Imbeciles! _With that thought I turn back to the bar and come face to face with none other than the 'Boy Who Lived'.

"Merlin! Really Potter? Once in one day wasn't enough? You've got to harass me at this place too?!"

"I'll have a firewhisky. Double." He orders.

_That I can deal with. Just another customer. _Placing it on the counter in front of him I go to move onto the next in line. However, before I can he grasps my arm. Not tightly… but not exactly loose either. I stare down at it with an obvious glare. "I'm calling a truce" he says. My eyebrows raise. "I'm over whatever it is that's been going on here." he goes on, gesturing with his hand between the two of us.

Pulling my hand from his I take a step back. "There isn't anything going on between us… and I don't do-"

"That's what I'm talking about! Right there! Whatever cutting remark you're about to make, it's inevitable that I'm going to snap back and then we'll be back to square one. So… truce Martha."

His used of my actual name shocked me more than anything else he had to say. _I don't do truces. _"Whatever Potter. I'm working." With that I move on to the other end of the bar where my patrons are a lot less willing to make small chat, and a lot more willing to order a drink.

The night begins to wind down at about midnight. The booze has run dry, the clientele are too drunk to care and the voices have dropped to the bare minimum. The bar empties and by 1am I am ready to go home and get a few hours of sleep in before starting all over again tomorrow. Potter is still here though. _For goodness sake! Go home already. _He's staring into his pint deep in thought. Every now and then I can feel his eyes on me and it makes me bloody uncomfortable. _I'm really not your type and you know it! _The bell on the door jangles and I'm yell out "We're closing in five."

"Good to hear Beautiful!" His voice is smooth and rich… reeking of class… and a little too much confidence. My head tilts up as he walks towards me. "Ready to go then?" _Do I want to? Do you really want to Martha? _He's not my boyfriend. Definitely not! But I'm pretty sure he's looking to head that way… and I'm just… not interested. Not in the slightest in fact. My eyes shift past his shoulders to where I can see Potter staring daggers at us. _What's with that? _

"Yeah I'm off now. Rosie's closing up." I grab my coat and throw my apron into my bag. The whole time all I can feel are Potter's bloody glares! Once outside I realise how tired I actually am.

"So your place or mine?" _Malfoy._

"Thanks for walking me out, but I'm heading home Draco. I need some sleep. A decent amount of it." I take out my wand to apparate and call a quick "See you round." before I'm back at my front door. My bed is calling my name. Not bothering to take off more than my shoes I fall into it, letting sleep take me away from drunks and men and glaring bloody truce Harry Potter!

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

_Hermione_

Why are first days so hard? First day of school, first day of work… it never gets easier. Well the social part never gets easier. Sometimes I swear I'm still that frizzy haired, buck toothed little girl. _Oh get a hold of yourself Granger! _ I've been appointed head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office. Being part of the Magical Law Enforcement Office I knew I was bound to run into at least a dozen or so people that knew me years ago. What I didn't expect was that it would take the better part of a day dealing with them all. The dozen or so raid reports sitting on my desk are calling my name and instead I'm standing here trying to coax Kingsley Shacklebolt from my office.

"Great Hermione. So I can let Ginny know that you'll be there. She must have reminded me three times over breakfast to ask you. Both she and Molly were cut up about how lunch went the other day-"

That's where I cut him off. "-Sure Kingsley. I'll put it in the calendar. Now if you'll excuse me I have a lot of work to do. First day and all that." The smile plastered across my face is strained and obviously lets him know that I'm more than ready for him to get out. I shut the door behind him once he's left. Leaning against the heavy wood, I let my head fall back with a thump. _Effing baby shower! Fuck. _The door reverberates against my poor head as someone knocks against the other side. "Oh what now?! For goodness sake I do have to get _something _done on my first day!" I say swinging the door open. "Ron!"

"Hey Mione." His voice is soft and low. He's nervous. I really shouldn't be surprised that I've run into him. The Auror department is close to ours since we're all part of the same office. I stand there silently staring at the man that was once the boy that was closer to me than I ever thought anyone could be… until he just wasn't anymore. He coughs. "I'm sorry about what happened at Mum and Dad's the other day. Really sorry Hermione. I was still angry… for all the wrong reasons. Don't get me wrong, I'm still angry but for all the right reasons… but that's for me to get over and isn't your problem."

I'm standing so still. "I won't apologise again. What's done is done."

"I know that. I didn't come here looking for an apology. I know you had your reasons." He gulps and looks to the ceiling. I can tell he's blinking back tears. When he speaks it's almost a whisper. "I thought you were dead and I loved you so much." He levels his head once more, his voice stronger now. "You can't imagine how that felt. You'll never imagine what that's like… and I can't explain the joy, the relief when I saw you in Diagon Alley. The pure relief Hermione."

A tear runs down my cheek. "For that I am sorry Ron. Truly sorry."

"I realised when you ran out Mum's door the other day that it could so easily happen again, and this time it would be my fault. Guess I realised it was better to have you in my life than live without you again. I couldn't go through that."

I step towards him and give him the fiercest hug I can manage. "It'll always be you, me and Harry. You two are my brothers. Always have been."

He hugs me back and let's me go with a chuckle. "So has my sister wrangled you into her baby shower or what? I saw KIngsley walk out of here. I swear she has him wrapped around her little finger."

"Heh. Yeah she has. I have to say that I was surprised by that match."

"Weren't we all. You know Ginny. Once she sees something she wants, she has to have it! And she saw Shacklebolt." At that we both smirk and have a good laugh.

"Alright Ronald, get out so I can get at least one of these done before I head back to my flat, which has no doubt been set on fire by my five year old and her not much more mature father." I say gesturing to the files behind me.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

By the time I get home my head is beginning to pound. _A bath… I would love a bath right now. _My baby girl is fast asleep on Sirius' chest. He's passed out on the sofa. _God what time is it?! After ten… shit! _He shifts at the sound of the door and those grey eyes stare back at me. "How was the first day?" His words are slurred with sleep.

I lift Lyra from his arms and into my own. "It was long. Really long." I walk down the hall to tuck her in. I can hear Sirius shuffle behind me. "She should be in her PJs, but I'm too damn exhausted to change her." I say pulling the covers up over her little shoulders.

"She wanted to wait up for you."

"Well she should have been in bed!" My voice is stern and I can feel the tension in my voice. _It's not his fault you're tired._ "I'm sorry. That just came out. I'm really tired and… shouldn't be taking it out on you."

He shakes his head and walks over. I fold into his arms so easily. "Come to bed with me."

I smile up at him. "I was serious when I said I was tired."

"Oh I know darling. Just spooning… no forking." he says with a smirk.

"Let's get to it then." The next thing I know he's flinging me over his shoulder and tucking _me _into bed. "Guess we're all sleeping in our clothes tonight."

"Think again sweetheart. You know I sleep naked." I'm asleep before his pants hit the floor.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

"I love waking up next to you."

"I think you love waking up to breakfast Mr. Black." He's snuggled against my back, his arms wrapped tight around me. "Speaking of which, Lyra will be up any minute wanting cereal, eggs, pancakes… or all three. I'm going to get in the shower." I turn over giving him a slow kiss on mouth. "I've got to get up."

"No you don't. You want to stay here in bed with me… all day." He says trying to pull me back down to bed.

"Mmm I would love to do that, but I start work in less than two hours." Slipping from his grasp I strip off yesterday's clothes and make my way to the bathroom.

As the hot water begins to pour down my back I hear Sirius enter the bathroom. His voice echoes against the tiles. "Yeah about that… What are our long term plans with Lyra during the day? I love having her during the day but she's missing you of an evening Mi."

"It's only for a couple more weeks. Then she starts school." I reply, shampooing my hair.

"That's another thing. Where is she being enrolled?" Through the curtain I can see him leaning against the sink.

The water continues to rush over me, waking me up completely. "Well I've been looking at the academy two blocks away. It's close, safe and already has a handful of wizarding children in attendance. It's the standout choice. Part of the reason I picked this apartment."

"Well that's not what I was thinking. We're making decisions together now right? I was thinking more a private tutor at Grimmauld." His voice is dry.

I turn off the taps and stand naked under the dripping shower head. "Grimmauld?"

"Well yeah. It's the more practical solution. It's larger. Lyra can have ten times the space. There's a yard. She can have whatever she wants Hermione… and there'll be more space if we decide to have more children… which I personally would like to discuss at some point."

I realise that my mouth is hanging slightly open. Getting hold of my shock I step out from the tub. "This isn't a conversation that we should have right now. This is a much bigger conversation than that."

"It is Mi, and I'm saying that I want to have it. Maybe not this morning, but at some point. I missed out on so much with Lyra." My breath hitches. "I want us to have that again. I want the three of us to experience it all again. Make four of us, five, six. I want everything with you and Lyra. Everything. Let me give it to you."

"Okay Sirius." _There are so many things that you don't know Sirius… so many things. "_We'll discuss it, I promise." Then I wrap a towel around myself and get the hell out of that bathroom before I say too much.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: **Oh Harry Potter, how I wished I owned you… but alas you and everything related to you belongs to J.K.

This chapter goes out to a few special reviewers… Calimocho, rileypotter17, marque1. You inspired me so I hope you enjoy the chapter. I do apologise everyone for the long wait since the last update… it's a work in progress. The good news is that I know exactly where it's going so never fear! Oh and youcantbesirius-1, I'll be updating 'Secrets and Revelations' in the coming weeks. Enjoy!

**Chapter 12.**

"So are we going to talk about what we started the other night or not?"

"Not today Sirius. Today is Ginny's day."

"It could be any day and you still wouldn't want to discuss this with me would you?"

My eyes plead with him. "Let's just make it through today… and when we get home we can talk… I promise." _More than a week and he still hasn't forgotten my hasty departure from the bathroom conversation the other morning. Another baby… another two babies… I'm terrified. _His face is closed off to me and he looks away. My chest contracts with that look. "Sirius… tonight… I promise." He nods and I give him a long hug. "I'll be gone a few hours. Dinner is at The Burrow at 6 sharp, so I'll see you and Lyra then."

As I begin to walk away he pulls my hand, bringing me back to him. "I love you Hermione."

"I love you too…"

By the time I've apparated to Ginny's house everyone is already there. _Who knew it would be so damn hard to find?! _ My stomach begins to churn as the nerves set in. There are so many people here… so many old friends. Wow Lavender Brown has put on a few pounds… or twenty! _Hermione! _ "Fleur, how on earth have you given birth to four children?! You make me feel like a post pregnant blimp." I say stunned.

"I wanted one and ended up with four. I was not going to lose my figure as well as my sanity." She says with a laugh.

"Well I hope to have six!" Ginny says easing herself down into a plush armchair. The room is twinkling with fairy lights and there are neat little piles of gifts littering the coffee table, as well as an impressive spread of food floating above and around the room.

"Heh well let's see how you feel about that once you've given birth to just the one." I say. Everyone laughs as GInny pulls a face and concedes. Conversation flares up around me as the women dig into the various nibblies. My earlier anxiety slowly begins to dissipate and I let myself relax. _You're exactly where you're supposed to be Hermione. This is where you belong… with your friends… with Sirius._

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

_Martha_

"So how do I convince you to come along to this dinner?"

"Erm… well you don't. When are you and Hermione _and_ Sirius _and _Lyra going to realise that I don't know any of these people? Crashing a dinner with a bunch of people that I have no relation or connection to is not my idea of an enjoyable evening."

He's looking at me like I'm the insane one! I turn away from him, moving to scrub further down the bar. "No connection? You're Severus Snape's daughter Martha. There's a connection." My arm stops mid wipe. A lump forms in my throat.

"He was my biological father Potter. That's all. I didn't know that man. The sooner you realise that, the sooner this infatuation with me can end!" He grabs my hand before I can attempt to run.

"Don't do that! Don't run from it. Look… I can't imagine what it was like for you. I only know what the war was like for me. Snape… he saved me. He saved us all. He wasn't the best man and I know he wasn't a father to you… but he did all he could… for all of us, including you. They just want to meet you Martha. You're the only piece of him left now and they want to say thank you." He's staring at me with those green eyes and I'm lost. I'm lost in them for the briefest of moments… in that moment I would have given him anything.

_Get it together Marty! _Before he can say anything else I stalk towards the door. "Fine… but I need to change first. I'm not meeting them in this!" I state, gesturing to my grimy apron and jeans. "Rosie! I'm heading out. Catch you later!" Harry follows me through the door. "And get that smug look off your face buddy or our dinner date ends right here."

"Von-Fursten, if we were on a dinner date, you'd know it! This is… Order business."

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

_Hermione_

"MAMA! Look at the new dress Daddy and I bought today? Isn't it the most cutest dress in the whole universe Mama?!"

"No 'most' Lyra. 'Cutest' only."

My baby sighs. "Isn't it the CUTEST dress in the whole universe?!"

I laugh and lift her into my arms throwing a smile Sirius' way. Since I've come straight from work we ended up apparating separately and meeting up at The Burrow doorstep. "Yes Sweetness it most certainly is." I can see the two of them have been shopping, _yet again._

"I can't say no Hermione! I swear to God if she asked for a baby dragon at this point I'd say okay." _Merlin! He's toast! _

_"_BABY DRAGON?!" Lyra squeals with delight. "Really?!"

Sirius' face is one of horror and I can't help but laugh harder. "No Lyra. No baby dragons. Stop trying to give Daddy a heart attack! Besides you know that Orion would eat it!"

My daughter looks startled for the briefest of moments before bursting into fits of giggles as loud as mine. "'Rion is a fatty! And he likes dragon shaped biscuits and he LOVES eating baby dragons! Yum YUm YUM!" She starts making crunching sounds in between chuckles, and Sirius joins in laughing as her rosy cheeks puff out in an attempt to make a roaring 'Orion like' sound. That's how they find us on their doorstep. I look up to see Molly and Arthur staring at us… the three of us laughing… Sirius trying to hold himself upright. There's this burst in my chest as I realise how we look to them… how we are… what we are. _We're a family. We're a _happy_ family. _

The laughter falters but our smiles do not. "Heya Molly! I'm starving!" Sirius bounces forward practically lifting Molly up in a bear hug.

"You're always starving Sirius! I swear you're worse than my boys combined!"

He just laughs as he heads down the hall. "I'm heading for the biscuit tin Molly! Don't try to stop me!"

"You most certainly are not!" Molly starts running after him leaving Arthur and I standing in the entryway as I wrangle Lyra out of her little coat. "Hello Mr. Weasley!" Lyra pipes up before running down the hall after her father and a still yelling Molly.

Exasperated I look up at Ron's dad. "I swear to God Arthur, sometimes it's like having two children."

"Hello Hermione dear." He says leaning in to give me a fatherly hug. How's the new job treating you? Ron says they're working you to the bone."

"Merlin yes! It's just non-stop at the moment. The hours are hell… but honestly I'm bloody loving it."

"Well just don't work yourself into the ground-" His words are interrupted by the front door behind me opening.

"HELLO! We're here!" Harry yells opening the door further. _We're? 'We're' who?_

I don't think I could have been any more shocked if Sirius had actually come home with that baby dragon. There standing next to Harry was Martha! "Hey Mi" She says with a smile.

I take in the way Harry guides her through the entrance, his hand at her lower back. My own smile turns into a full watt grin. "Hey Marty."

"Martha Von-Fursten? Well it's lovely to meet you young lady. It's been long overdue." Arthur says shaking Martha's hand vigorously in his own. Taking her coat he continues to talk a million miles an hour. "Molly is just going to be over the moon. We've been trying to get a hold of you since we heard from Harry that you were in London… of course we knew about you years ago… but with the war and all… well… and your father… he was a great man. You should be so proud. He-"

Thankfully Harry interrupts. "Arthur how about we go on through to the living room? I could really use a drink and I'm sure Martha's feet are aching from working all day."

Mr. Weasley seems to catch himself. "Oh of course. Come through. Come through. Let's introduce you!"

The next ten minutes must have been some of the hardest minutes Martha has ever had to endure. Knowing how much she hates the attention being on her, I can only imagine how uncomfortable she must be as the only focus in the room. Somehow though she seems to manage. _Perhaps she isn't as delicate about the Snape issue as you think she is. _

"Aunty Marty come and sit next to me and Charlie at the table. Charlie has BABY DRAGONS!" Charlie Weasley looks up to wink at Martha and receives a grin in return.

"Hey Charlie. How're things?" Martha says moving to join him across the room.

"Not too bad Marty. How's the pub working out? Rosmerta treating you well?"

"Meh… it's not too bad. Gives me time to work at home and yeah Rosie's been fabulous."

I'm confused as hell at the exchange. _Since when did Martha know Charlie?_ One glance over at Harry and I can tell he's in the same boat as me. He on the other hand is more on the side of pissed than surprised. And then he's walking over there too… _SHIT!_

"So you two know each other?" Harry breaks in.

Charlie turns to him with a grin, obviously not catching Harry's hostility. "Yeah yeah just for a while. I was at The Three Broomsticks when Marty managed to score herself a job that wasn't even advertised. Have to say that I've never seen someone smooth talk Rosmerta like that… ever" He says laughing.

Lyra, obviously bored with the attention focused anywhere but on her, pipes up and saves the day. "Charlie come and see my dragon drawing. He's green and purple and gold and has pretty spikes." Always good natured, the handsome Weasley let's my daughter drag him from the room. Taking a sip of my butterbeer I continue to watch the exchange, and feel Sirius walk up beside me.

"So you do know a Weasley after all?" Harry questions with a frown.

Martha stares right back at him. "I wouldn't say 'know', but yes we've met… Chill out Potter! What's with the look you're throwing me?" Harry remains silent. "Oh for goodness sake… I came here with you damn it… not anyone else. So just… eugh!" Then she's doing that little thing with her eyes as if she's throwing her arms up in defeat _or anger_ and walks right out the door.

I take a step to go after her only to have Sirius pull me back. "Uh uh uh Darling. Let him chase her. That's what she wants. That's what he wants. So let it play out."

"Sirius that is _not _ what she wants. She's more likely to curse him as soon as he walks out the door."

"All the better that you stay inside then and let Harry get the brunt of it then" Sirius says with a grin.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

_Martha_

"Idiot Potter" I mutter under my breath kicking a rusted watering can as I stomp through the yard.

"MARTHA!" I can hear him yelling from behind me. He's moving fast… but I can move faster. I pick up the pace until I'm running… Faster and faster until I'm sprinting. No one can touch me! No one can catch me! I'm free! _I'm free! _

"Damn it Martha!" his voice calls. _Wait… what?_

He catches me around the waist and runs a few more metres until his legs slow under him. I'm too shocked to say anything… or realise that I'm still in his arms a foot off the ground. I twist around facing him and open my mouth to speak, but he beats me to it. "I knew I'd catch you eventually." We both know he isn't just referring to our little chase.

I'm breathless as I speak. "You may have caught me Potter, but you'll never have me."

"You really think so?" he says running his hands up my waist towards my breasts as he lowers me to my feet. "Because Von-Fursten… I would have to disagree. In fact, I'd put money on it."

"Then you'll find that you'll not only be disappointed, but also broke." I snipe, stepping back from him. "I'm going to head back to dinner." Smoothing my dress down I throw one last remark over my shoulder. "Oh and you'd best take care of that before you follow me." I can't help but smirk as he adjusts his pants.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

_Hermione_

"Well that was certainly an interesting evening!" Sirius says with a laugh. He lifts a limp sleeping Lyra into his arms and hugs me to him before apparating us home.

"Oh stop it!" I say smiling in response, opening the front door.

"Mmm my favourite bits were when Martha came into the living room half tousled and when Harry came to the dinner table with a hard on… Priceless." He says between laughs. He moves to put our exhausted daughter to bed and I begin changing. _Please don't let this end badly for them._

"Merlin what are they doing Sirius?!" I'm pulling my unruly hair free of all the pins holding it back.

"Well it's all your doing sweetheart. Harry would never have even met Von-Fursten if you hadn't brought her back here with you. He certainly wouldn't be chasing after her if you hadn't told him she was off limits."

"She is off limits!" I state raising my voice a little. "They'll tear each other apart!"

"Oh that's half the fun." He grins like the rogue he is. "Or to be more accurate, shagging like lions tearing each other apart is half the fun." With that comment I see his eyes darken and he pulls me to him as he sits on the edge of the bed. His hands are splayed on my bare skin as he kisses my stomach through my sleep shirt. "Care to tear each other apart lover?" I answer by pushing him back on the bed and pulling my shirt over my head, revealing my breasts.

It's hard and fast and fabulous. Afterwards we're both covered in a thin layer of sweat and still panting. Our break is short lived as he lifts me up and carries me to the bathroom for a second round. By the time we crawl into bed my legs won't hold me up. _How did I go all those years without this? _

As I start to drift off he holds me a little tighter. "Now's when we have that conversation Mi." My eyes pop open and I automatically shut them tightly. He must feel me tense in the smallest way. "What aren't you telling me?"

I'm silent. "Mi?" I remain quiet and he turns me towards him on the bed. "Hermione?"

I almost choke on the words. "Lyra is the only child we'll ever have Sirius."

His expression is confused and stricken at the same time. "What?"

"I said… Lyra is the only child we'll ever have."

"I heard what you said… but why?"

"Because they told me it was a miracle that I conceived her." I concentrate hard on my words, forcing them out. I've never spoken them aloud. "They told me the likelihood of falling pregnant again were… they said 'never'." The tears are leaking from my eyes. "I robbed you of her as a baby and now I can't give you another child. I'm so sorry Sirius. You'll never know how sorry I am."

"Don't talk like that. We're past that Hermione. We're so damn past that! I love you!" He pushes my damp hair behind my ears. "It can't be fixed?"

I shake my head and shrug my shoulders. "It's a human condition would you believe… It's not even a curse… I can't even blame it on a curse."

He's quiet for a long time. I can almost hear his heart beating. "You make my life whole Hermione. You make _me _whole… and if it's only ever the three of us I'll die a happy man… and if we're lucky enough to be four one day well so be it… but today, tomorrow and forever, the three of us are a whole!"

"I love you so much sometimes my heart feels like it's going to break open…" I whisper. Then I kiss him and we lay in the silence… in our own thoughts, until sleep takes us.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

Reviews pretty please! Got to get the writing flowing!


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